Hell in Helsinki

Monday of the second week of our cruise saw us in Helsinki, the capital of Finland, it is renowned  for its Neo-classical architecture. We had settled on an excursion which took us both into the heart of Helsinki but also out to one of the old fishing villages that supplied the wealth (and food) to the capital, the charming Medieval town of Porvoo.

It was a reasonable start time of 9am so after the usual morning routine and a quick check on the weather, after the night before's little storm at sea, we were up and heading for breakfast by 8. We sat with a lovely older couple that morning who were exploring the city by themselves as they had been to Finland a couple of times before and done much of the tourist destinations in the past. We spoke of meaningless things and wished them a good day.

The day was grey and overcast, although it was not due to rain and it wasn't really even that cold, but after the heat of Russia, it felt colder than it probably was. But we are British and thus, we complain about everything weather related but deal with it nonetheless.

We departed the ship and made our way to the designated coach and waited for the arrival of the rest of the party. There were only another 4 after us and the coach was less than half full. As the driver pulled off our guide introduced himself and the coach driver and then said little else for the 50 minute transfer out to Porvoo...hmmm, not a good start. As we pulled up in the little village he jumped off the coach and before he checked to see if everyone was off, he started making his way up to the church at the top of the village, talking very softly - and without the audio assistance that we'd had in Russia, it was nearly impossible to hear what he was saying.

He set a fast pace and many of our party struggled to keep up with him and by the time the last members of the group had caught up, he had already finished telling us anything he thought was important about the site (which wasn't a lot I hasten to add) and told us to explore inside the building alone and to be back outside in 15 minutes. Well! to be honest, if this was how it was going to be, it's a wonder they bothered to give us a guide at all. Claire and I took ourselves off into the church and because we don't mind doing some digging around and research by ourselves, we simply took note of anything we wanted to clarify, to check out on our return home.

From the Church we were led down to the waterfront where he mumbled on about it being the main waterway and the source of all village income but, again, he was so quiet and hadn't waited for half the group that most of missed out on what he had said. He then led us back to the main street and said we had 20 minutes to shop before the coach left to return to Helsinki. Hardly any time really to explore such an incredible place - I could have happily spent half a day in Porvoo and still not seen it all. As it was we rushed round a couple of shops but weren't inspired to buy anything as we really didn't have time to look properly and headed back to the coach. Hmmm.

Once we were all loaded back up and the driver started on his way our 'guide' once again didn't speak. It was incredible the difference we were witnessing! Every guide we'd had to date would rabbit on and on and on (how they didn't loose their voice was beyond me) but here, this guide was being mute. We weren't being told any of the countries history, politics, social development. If we wanted to know anything about anything we were going to have to search for ourselves.

As we made it back into the city, he finally began to speak, but for the lack of anything useful or informative to tell us, he may as well have not bothered. We passed the City Hall, where we were given a couple of minutes to take photos and then on and passed the Parliament building, Opera House, Sibelius Park (I think, nothing was said if we did) and down the Esplanade to the Temppeliaukio Church (better known as the Rock Church).

The church was designed by architects and brothers Timo and Tuomo Suomalainen and opened in 1969. The interior was excavated and built into the rock but is bathed in natural light entering through the glazed dome. It is truly breathtaking and our guide had given us 15 minutes to explore at our leisure. However, after 10 minutes Claire and I had made our way back out to the meeting place and there was no one in sight! the guide and the rest of our group and left without us and we had no idea where we were!

After checking that the group wasn't were the coach had dropped us off, Claire and I headed back up to the church to see if we could spot anyone from the ship and make our next move. We couldn't see anyone we recognised and with no mobile to call the ship and explain the situation we were on our own to make our way back to the port. HELP!

We found a map of the city centre but couldn't locate the church and we weren't entirely sure if we were in the East or West Port so we were little better off. Things were looking less than hopeful. Trying to recall any information - such as well as the cruise shuttle was dropping off etc we spotted a guide for a Holland America cruise ship - they were docked opposite us! Heading over to the guide we explained our situation and after looking suitably horrified that our guide (and group) had left us stranded offered to give us directions back to the ship using the local transport systems. She was brilliant; taking our map she marked up where the church was, where the bus stop we needed was and where to get off or the equivalents on the tram and then, pointing us in the right direction and apologising that there wasn't room on their coach to take us back, wished us farewell.

As it turned out the port was in walking distance - well an OK distance for Claire and I to walk, if it had been many on our ship it would have been impossible. So, map in hand and having been reassured that all the locals spoke English we set off, best foot forward and all that. About 50 minutes of walking at a reasonable pace later and we were back in the port area and another 10 minutes saw us safely back on board ship. By which point, I was fuming!

We headed straight to the excursions desk, but it was closed for the afternoon, although we could hear them inside, so we made our way back to reception to ask if they could call the office and see if someone could spare us a couple of minutes so we could explain what had happened. Reception were less then helpful, telling us we would have to wait to speak to the like everyone else, even after we explained that we'd been left behind they didn't budge! urgh! someone really was out to cause us as much of a headache as possible. I was not a happy bunny.

Giving up, too worn out to kick up a fuss we finally went back to the cabin and dropped our bags off, washed up and went in search of some food and a much needed cup of tea. We ate on the lido deck but the ship was busy and I wasn't in the mood for making polite conversation, so said I was going to watch to afternoon movie in the cabin and redo my nails. Claire said she was up for that too and we got a fresh cup of tea and made our way back to the cabin. Just as we were coming down the stairs we passed Dan with the new show team member, Kym,  who had just come on board.

As we rounded the corner of the stairs for the final run, Claire almost ran into Alistair (nearly covering him) and I almost went into both of them. Thankfully, all accidents were averted and he asked how our trip had been - bad question. We gave him the short version of the story and said we were going to hide in the cabin for the afternoon for some much needed space and chill out time and we'd see him later. After an afternoon of chilling, painting nails, doing some much needed repair work on an outfit (not one of ours I hasten to add) and watching a truly awful movie, W./E., we were in a better frame of mind for the evening ahead.

Yes the day had been less than stellar and no, I didn't appreciate the attitude we'd received at reception but it wasn't worth holding onto the upset, the evening ahead was shaping up to be a great laugh and frankly, high blood pressure just isn't worth it. We got ready for dinner slightly earlier than normal and headed up to excursion for 6pm to put in our complaint. Ten minutes later, rant completed for, what we hoped was the last time, we went in search of dinner and a much needed glass of wine.

Dinner was a quiet affair as neither of us were very chatty and it seemed no one else was the kind to keep light conversation going. We finished dinner quickly that night and taking the rest of the wine with us, went up to chill out in High Spirits. As time passed on and the wine was drunk we caught up with some a few of the couples that we had spent a number of trips with and talked about how are days had been. We kept the story short but everyone was suitably horrified. Nevertheless, we were safe and that, after everything, really was all that mattered.

We made a move just gone 8 to the Broadway show lounge for that nights special performance - Spirit's got Talent. It's a tradition, at least on Thomson ships, for the crew to get a night to take to the stage and show off their wide array of talents. It was, as every one we had seen before, great. The staff on board are real gems and so talented. The show was exactly what we needed to lift our spirits.

After the show we wandered to the shops to take a last look at all the Amber, Faberge and Lacquer that the guest lecturer had brought with him. We behaved and didn't buy anything (though it was a close run thing I promise). We popped back to the cabin, grabbed a glass of whiskey and headed back up to high spirits to listen to the Beats and while away the time until Alistair's second cabaret of the cruise. We knew, from conversation the night before, that he wasn't due to sing but with various members of the show team out due to injury, not replaced or not ready to perform their own cabaret's, he'd picked up the slack.

Not that we were going to complain, especially not me, after he told us it was going to be country music! I love country music, it is one of my all time favourite genres of music. You can keep you top 20's and manufactured pop thank you very much. Alistair sang songs from all my favourite artists and one of my all time favourite tracks from Brad Paisley (seriously, you could almost have copied his song list straight off my MP3 player!) It was a great cabaret and the show team all came up (including Rob) and were the loudest support of anyone in the room!

As the evening drew to a close we moved out onto the deck for our usual round of nightcaps and conversation and everyone stopped off to tell Alistair how great they thought the set was. The funniest was Robyn though, who was to do her first cabaret the following evening and was getting seriously stressed out and was making some exceptionally funny, but totally unrepeatable comments to describe how she was feeling.

The last of the evening past in its usual fashion and we discussed upcoming shows, ports of call and post cruise/job contracts as well as asking after the newest show team girl that we'd almost run over on the stairs. The day finished as it had started out, happy and content - it was just a shame about the vast majority of hours in between.

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