Published: 1997
Plot Summery: With the opening of the novel, the island of Leshp, which had been submerged under the Circle Sea for centuries, rises to the surface. Its position, exactly halfway between Ankh-Morpork and Al Khali (the capital of Klatch), makes the island a powerful strategical point for whoever lays claim to it, which both cities do.
In Ankh-Morpork, a Klatchian Prince named Khufurah is parading through Ankh-Morpork, where he will be presented with a Degree in Sweet Fanny Adams but an assassination attempt occurs, and the Prince is wounded. Sir Samuel Vimes, Commander of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch, begins investigating the crime, originally suspecting both a Klatchian named 71-Hour Ahmed and a senior Morporkian peer, Lord Rust, of being involved.
The attempted assassination breaks off relations between Ankh-Morpork and Klatch as Prince Khufurah's brother, Prince Cadram, effectively declares war on the city of Ankh-Morpork. At this point, Havelock Vetinari, Patrician of Ankh-Morpork, resigns—apparently of his own free will—and Lord Rust takes command of the city. Vetinari has refused to become involved in the war with Klatch, due to the fact Ankh-Morpork does not have an army to stand against any opposing forces, but Rust declares Martial law and orders the city's noble families to revive their old private regiments.
Vimes, refusing to follow Rust (whom he considers to be a pillock) stands down as Commander of the Watch. Captain Carrot resigns as well, as do Sergeant Colon, Sergeant Detritus and Corporal Angua. The idea of putting the watch under the command of Corporal Nobbs is rejected by the ruling Council of Guild leaders and the Watch is disbanded. Vimes then recruits the Watch into his own private army regiment.
Vetinari, Leonard of Quirm, Colon, and Nobby end up in Leonard's "Going-Under-the-Water-Safely Device" and discover that Leshp is actually floating on top of a huge bubble of gas and that the gas is escaping from said bubble, meaning that Leshp will, ultimately, sink back under the sea again.
Vimes catches up with 71-hour Ahmed and has, by this time, figured out that Ahmed is a fellow policeman. Ahmed and his band of Klatchian D'regs and Vimes army head towards Gebra, in Klatch, where the war is due to start.
To help blend in, Vetinari, Nobby and Fred Colon get hold of some Klatchian clothing and head to Gebra. Arriving at Gebra they discover that Carrot has convinced the two armies to get together and play a game of football (he has an inflatable football in his backpack for just such an emergency), Vimes is preparing to arrest both Klatchian Prince Cadram and Lord Rust for various breaches of the peace (such as being prepared for war) and 71-hour Ahmed is supporting him. Vetinari prevents an international incident by ostensibly declaring the surrender of Ankh-Morpork and offering war reparations. To be ratified on Leshp in one week.
Vetinari is returned to Ankh-Morpork, under arrest and in disgrace, but as Leshp has vanished back under the sea again, the treaty was to be signed in a non-existent territory and thus the charge of treason is invalid. Seeing he has been tricked, and with the people and generals turning against him, Prince Cadram flees, with 71-hour Ahmed in pursuit and his brother Khufurah recovers and resumed control of Klatch. Vimes is informed that Vetinari has been "reminded" that the old rank of Commander was the same as the old rank of Duke. He objects, claiming that only a King can make a Duke, but then realises that Carrot was speaking to Vetinari. Since Carrot is, of course, very much not the King of Ankh-Morpork his reminding of Vetinari is all that is required for Vimes to get his new position and rank.
In Ankh-Morpork, a Klatchian Prince named Khufurah is parading through Ankh-Morpork, where he will be presented with a Degree in Sweet Fanny Adams but an assassination attempt occurs, and the Prince is wounded. Sir Samuel Vimes, Commander of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch, begins investigating the crime, originally suspecting both a Klatchian named 71-Hour Ahmed and a senior Morporkian peer, Lord Rust, of being involved.
The attempted assassination breaks off relations between Ankh-Morpork and Klatch as Prince Khufurah's brother, Prince Cadram, effectively declares war on the city of Ankh-Morpork. At this point, Havelock Vetinari, Patrician of Ankh-Morpork, resigns—apparently of his own free will—and Lord Rust takes command of the city. Vetinari has refused to become involved in the war with Klatch, due to the fact Ankh-Morpork does not have an army to stand against any opposing forces, but Rust declares Martial law and orders the city's noble families to revive their old private regiments.
Vimes, refusing to follow Rust (whom he considers to be a pillock) stands down as Commander of the Watch. Captain Carrot resigns as well, as do Sergeant Colon, Sergeant Detritus and Corporal Angua. The idea of putting the watch under the command of Corporal Nobbs is rejected by the ruling Council of Guild leaders and the Watch is disbanded. Vimes then recruits the Watch into his own private army regiment.
Vetinari, Leonard of Quirm, Colon, and Nobby end up in Leonard's "Going-Under-the-Water-Safely Device" and discover that Leshp is actually floating on top of a huge bubble of gas and that the gas is escaping from said bubble, meaning that Leshp will, ultimately, sink back under the sea again.
Vimes catches up with 71-hour Ahmed and has, by this time, figured out that Ahmed is a fellow policeman. Ahmed and his band of Klatchian D'regs and Vimes army head towards Gebra, in Klatch, where the war is due to start.
To help blend in, Vetinari, Nobby and Fred Colon get hold of some Klatchian clothing and head to Gebra. Arriving at Gebra they discover that Carrot has convinced the two armies to get together and play a game of football (he has an inflatable football in his backpack for just such an emergency), Vimes is preparing to arrest both Klatchian Prince Cadram and Lord Rust for various breaches of the peace (such as being prepared for war) and 71-hour Ahmed is supporting him. Vetinari prevents an international incident by ostensibly declaring the surrender of Ankh-Morpork and offering war reparations. To be ratified on Leshp in one week.
Vetinari is returned to Ankh-Morpork, under arrest and in disgrace, but as Leshp has vanished back under the sea again, the treaty was to be signed in a non-existent territory and thus the charge of treason is invalid. Seeing he has been tricked, and with the people and generals turning against him, Prince Cadram flees, with 71-hour Ahmed in pursuit and his brother Khufurah recovers and resumed control of Klatch. Vimes is informed that Vetinari has been "reminded" that the old rank of Commander was the same as the old rank of Duke. He objects, claiming that only a King can make a Duke, but then realises that Carrot was speaking to Vetinari. Since Carrot is, of course, very much not the King of Ankh-Morpork his reminding of Vetinari is all that is required for Vimes to get his new position and rank.
Adaptations: None known
Favourite Quotes:
One of the universal rules of happiness is: always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.
"'Chapter Fifteen, Elementary Necromancy'", she read out loud. "'Lesson One: Correct Use of Shovel...'"
It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.
Reading Time: Started Sunday 28th June 2015 - Finished Wednesday 1st July 2015
Published: 1998
Plot Summery: The story opens weeks after the events of Interesting Times, in which Rincewind is magically transported to the continent of Xxxx due to a miscalculation made by the Unseen University wizards. He meets the magical kangaroo Scrappy, who was sent by the creator of Fourecks. Scrappy explains to Rincewind that he is fated to bring back "The Wet," meaning the rain, and that he is the reason for the eons-long drought. Scrappy says that the continent is unfinished, and time and space will be an eternal anomaly there until it is finished, i.e. the rain is brought back. Rincewind is shown cave paintings of Wizards.
Meanwhile, the senior wizards are trying to find a cure for the Librarian's magical malady, which causes him to transform into a native object, such as a book when near a library, whenever he sneezes. The wizards soon find out that the books in the Library become hostile and attack when not in the librarian's care. The wizards cannot cure the Librarian without knowing his name. The Librarian, being also the archivist, destroyed any evidence of his true name since he believed the wizards would attempt to turn him human again, as he rather enjoyed his orang-utan body. The Lecturer in Recent Runes suggest they interrogate Rincewind, as he once worked closely with the Librarian and seemed to know more about him than anyone else. To find Rincewind, they have to find the continent of Xxxx. They seek out the Egregious Professor of Cruel and Unusual Geography, and find his office but no sign of the professor himself. They then find a magical window in space leading from the professor's bathroom to a tropical island thousands of years in the past.
Back in the present, Rincewind attempts to run away from his destiny, but in fact runs towards it. With the secret assistance of Scrappy, he eventually ends up wrongfully arrested for sheep theft and taken to Bugarup, where he is hoping to find a ship to escape on. Along the way he subsequently ends up inventing several things that are considered Australian Icons in the real world, for example beer soup (vegemite), putting corks on a string round his hat to keep flies off, as well as becoming the subject of a ballad that is hinted at being a parody of the song "Waltzing Matilda" when he is caught apparently stealing a sheep by a billabong. A gigantic circular storm surrounding Fourecks prevents any ships from leaving, however. The people of Bugarup are enthusiastic for Rincewind, since they regard sheep thieves as folk heroes and encourage him to escape, while not actually allowing him to. He finds a hidden message on the ceiling of his holding cell, left by a previous escapee named Tinhead Ned, a reference to the infamous bushranger, telling him to check the hinges on the door. He discovers that he is able to lift the door off its hinges and escape.
The wizards become trapped when Mrs. Whitlow, the head maid, brings them their breakfast and inadvertently closes the window that leads back into the Professor's study. The wizards soon encounter plants that rapidly evolve to suit their needs but do not question the turn of events until a large dinosaur evolves into a chicken in front of their eyes. After finding a plant-based boat, the wizards start to question their surroundings even more and the god of Evolution, who has been causing the events, then turns up and helps explain things a bit. The wizards then reach Fourecks and meet the Creator of Fourecks (not of the Disc) in the process of creating it by way of impressionistic cave paintings. The wizards bicker over the Creator's technique and inadvertently create the duck-billed platypus. The Librarian meanwhile steals the Creator's bullroarer and spins it, causing the drought Rincewind is in the process of stopping. The wizards are then frozen in time for thousands of years by the stray magic left over from creating the continent.
Rincewind, having escaped from gaol, invents the Peach Nellie, and then meets up with a group of female impersonators, Darleen and Letitia, and a female, Neilette. The "ladies" have found his Luggage, which rescues him from the Watch. In the escape, Rincewind and Neilette break into the old brewery. An earthquake (induced by the voice of the creator) causes the brewery to collapse, trapping them inside the Luggage. When they emerge, Rincewind can see the ethereal outlines of the wizards (who were trapped, frozen in time, for thirty thousand years in the brewery). Eventually he arrives at the University of Fourecks (which has a tower that is taller on the inside than it is on the outside). Rincewind figures out how to free the wizards, by drawing a picture of them, as the Creator did to create animals and plants in the past. The wizards attempt to find a way to bring back the rain, but are unsuccessful. As they are sitting around, Rincewind idly twirls the Bullroarer, which soon begins to fly faster and farther than it should. Rincewind lets go and the bullroarer flies off; immediately, it begins to rain.
Adaptations: None Known
Meanwhile, the senior wizards are trying to find a cure for the Librarian's magical malady, which causes him to transform into a native object, such as a book when near a library, whenever he sneezes. The wizards soon find out that the books in the Library become hostile and attack when not in the librarian's care. The wizards cannot cure the Librarian without knowing his name. The Librarian, being also the archivist, destroyed any evidence of his true name since he believed the wizards would attempt to turn him human again, as he rather enjoyed his orang-utan body. The Lecturer in Recent Runes suggest they interrogate Rincewind, as he once worked closely with the Librarian and seemed to know more about him than anyone else. To find Rincewind, they have to find the continent of Xxxx. They seek out the Egregious Professor of Cruel and Unusual Geography, and find his office but no sign of the professor himself. They then find a magical window in space leading from the professor's bathroom to a tropical island thousands of years in the past.
Back in the present, Rincewind attempts to run away from his destiny, but in fact runs towards it. With the secret assistance of Scrappy, he eventually ends up wrongfully arrested for sheep theft and taken to Bugarup, where he is hoping to find a ship to escape on. Along the way he subsequently ends up inventing several things that are considered Australian Icons in the real world, for example beer soup (vegemite), putting corks on a string round his hat to keep flies off, as well as becoming the subject of a ballad that is hinted at being a parody of the song "Waltzing Matilda" when he is caught apparently stealing a sheep by a billabong. A gigantic circular storm surrounding Fourecks prevents any ships from leaving, however. The people of Bugarup are enthusiastic for Rincewind, since they regard sheep thieves as folk heroes and encourage him to escape, while not actually allowing him to. He finds a hidden message on the ceiling of his holding cell, left by a previous escapee named Tinhead Ned, a reference to the infamous bushranger, telling him to check the hinges on the door. He discovers that he is able to lift the door off its hinges and escape.
The wizards become trapped when Mrs. Whitlow, the head maid, brings them their breakfast and inadvertently closes the window that leads back into the Professor's study. The wizards soon encounter plants that rapidly evolve to suit their needs but do not question the turn of events until a large dinosaur evolves into a chicken in front of their eyes. After finding a plant-based boat, the wizards start to question their surroundings even more and the god of Evolution, who has been causing the events, then turns up and helps explain things a bit. The wizards then reach Fourecks and meet the Creator of Fourecks (not of the Disc) in the process of creating it by way of impressionistic cave paintings. The wizards bicker over the Creator's technique and inadvertently create the duck-billed platypus. The Librarian meanwhile steals the Creator's bullroarer and spins it, causing the drought Rincewind is in the process of stopping. The wizards are then frozen in time for thousands of years by the stray magic left over from creating the continent.
Rincewind, having escaped from gaol, invents the Peach Nellie, and then meets up with a group of female impersonators, Darleen and Letitia, and a female, Neilette. The "ladies" have found his Luggage, which rescues him from the Watch. In the escape, Rincewind and Neilette break into the old brewery. An earthquake (induced by the voice of the creator) causes the brewery to collapse, trapping them inside the Luggage. When they emerge, Rincewind can see the ethereal outlines of the wizards (who were trapped, frozen in time, for thirty thousand years in the brewery). Eventually he arrives at the University of Fourecks (which has a tower that is taller on the inside than it is on the outside). Rincewind figures out how to free the wizards, by drawing a picture of them, as the Creator did to create animals and plants in the past. The wizards attempt to find a way to bring back the rain, but are unsuccessful. As they are sitting around, Rincewind idly twirls the Bullroarer, which soon begins to fly faster and farther than it should. Rincewind lets go and the bullroarer flies off; immediately, it begins to rain.
Adaptations: None Known
Favourite Quotes:
"When it's time to stop living, I will certainly make Death my number one choice!"
"When You're Up to Your Ass in Alligators, Today Is the First Day of the Rest of Your Life."
hey say the heat and the flies here can drive a man insane. But you don't have to believe that, and nor does that bright mauve elephant that just cycled past.
"When it's time to stop living, I will certainly make Death my number one choice!"
"When You're Up to Your Ass in Alligators, Today Is the First Day of the Rest of Your Life."
hey say the heat and the flies here can drive a man insane. But you don't have to believe that, and nor does that bright mauve elephant that just cycled past.
Reading Time: Started Thursday 2nd July 2015 - Finished Sunday 5th July 2015
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